Welcome To Me

Welcome to 2014, page-brainers. First post of the year.

After contemplating the termination of this blog, I've decided to keep it for the time being. It's good therapy for my own insanity.

This here is dangerous business. This is risky. I have to count the cost every time I sit down at these keys. I have to steel myself and hold my breath. It's hard to open up, to talk about yourself, to admit your faults, share your fears, and reveal your dreams. It's hard, for me anyway. Like the ribs protecting vital organs, it's only natural to treasure and hide that which is precious. But I'm not here to hug precious organs, warm, closed and comfortable. I'm here prying open the rigid gates around my heart, pulling it out of my chest and holding it up, fleshy, bloody and bleeding for you to see.

The whole purpose of this here establishment is to expose myself on these pages. It will be my heart, my blood, and my brains splattered across these pages. The good, the bad and the ugly. It's not easy. I tell myself that I'm writing for myself but that's not entirely true. 

Sometimes it's painful to let someone traverse the dark, tender parts of my being. With my chest open and my heart exposed, I run the risk of being pierced where it hurts the most. There are flesh-eating monsters out there who would love nothing more than to abuse the access I've offered to destroy me from the inside out. But sometimes it take an external force, someone with a steady hand to reach inside between the protective barriers of my soul to mend and extract the one thing that is killing me. It's a risk I have to take. One I'm willing to take.

Nothing here has changed. And nothing is going to change. For those of you who are new, welcome to the show. For those of you who have stuck it out with me, this is just a quick refresher on what to expect whenever the pink stuff starts hitting the white pages.

You are reading this. In order for you to read this, I have to open up. I have to let you in. Sometimes it's messy and dirty, sometimes it's crazy and unclear, sometimes it's unorthodox and unorganized. But this is where I live and this is how I do. 

Welcome to my humble abode. Welcome to me.