How to Do Mostly Nothing for Twenty Years

"Comfortable misery." Oxymoron right? How is it possible to be comfortable (something most people want and strive for) yet miserable or uncomfortable (something most people try to avoid) at the same time?

"It is like old, comfortable shoes. They are not attractive, but you keep wearing them out of habit. If you bought new ones, you would have to break them in. What if they pinched? What if they hurt? What if you didn’t like them? Better to just stay with what you have. Why take a chance?"

Think about it. How many times have I been okay and familiar with surroundings or circumstances or people or habits but wasn't nearly happy about it or simply hated it? Worst part - because I was 'comfortable' with it, I was in no hurry to take the necessary steps to change something.

Why do I do this? Why do I insist on being comfortably miserable? Why am I okay with being unhappy in my own little bubble when I can enjoy life if I just step outside its walls? Why am I okay to surrender to my fears and doubts? Why do I choose to live in this cage? Why do you?

Misery loves company, yes? Who wants to be unhappy by themselves? It's much easier to be unhappy with other people who feel the same or circumstances that never change. I can be miserable and unhappy right where I am and hold on to these certain things that make me unhappy because I know they're not going anywhere anytime soon.. because I'm not about to do anything to change it. If I had to write a book about my life up to this point, my autobiography would be titled something like "How to Do Mostly Nothing for Twenty Years." A fairly accurate title unfortunately. What would the title of your autobiography be?

The few times I have been willing to burst my own bubble and step out of my comfort zone has been so worth it, every single time. I took a huge step out of my comfort-zone this summer and absolutely loved it. This fear of change, of something different and unknown (especially for us reserved, less-adventures types) holds us back and ties us down. Unhappy enough to want change, but not enough discomfort to do anything about it. That's a terrible way to live really. Yet I do it. Many of us do.

I'm not here to solve problems or deliver answers. Those don't come to me right away. Sometimes simply raising the question is enough. "Why do I do what I do?" I've put a bit of thought into these here questions. I hope you do too.

An Attempt at Poetry

When the party's over and the music drops
When your friends go home and the drinking stops
When things fall apart and your plans all flop
When emptiness is all you know
And the smiles you make are just for show
When it's all you can do not to sit and cry
And it seems the entire world has passed you by
It's only then do you know who you really are
True colors revealed when faced with fire
Only then will you understand what it truly means to be a man
To face yourself and question why
How you became an ugly lie
Filled with doubts and regret each day
Maybe these feelings have come to stay
But it's how you persevere that matters most
And how you press on after you've given up the ghost
You already have what it takes within
Go wash your face and repent of your sins
Look in the mirror and face your fears
Growth is not instant; it usually takes years
But if you really try to live each day
As if everything you have could be taken away
Then you'll appreciate what you have and know
Being content is a good way to grow
Having doubts or fears isn't necessarily wrong
It's how you survive them that makes you strong
Always strive to confront your fears
And those crippling doubts will start to disappear
Just be who you are and do your best
Tackle goals, chase dreams and never rest
Not every dream will pan out and come true
But at least you gave it a shot and did it while being you
Live a life worth living and never forget
The hand you've been dealt is the one you get