awaken again

i would die in your arms just to awaken in them again
to be revived by the heavenly touch of your skin
a spark restarted by a kiss from your lips
rescuing me from the darkness within myself
my secret abyss
to be nursed back to health by one so abundant
in wealth of intangible treasures
that couldn't possibly be measured
because purity is priceless

i lay there for hours on end with my head in your hands
desperately trying to understand the mystery of your existence
of your unwavering persistence towards a mere mortal like me
no matter how hard i try i've never found your wings
but not all angels fly
yet you continue to sing to my soul without uttering a sound
and i cant remember the last time my feet touched the ground
all i know is your arms around me
your touch disarms me
and then my walls come tumbling down
all without a sound

i wish i could relive the first time i saw you over and over again
the first time i felt alive within
the first time i could breathe again
but at the same time you took my breath away
a gift i could never repay
but now i pray that i never see the day
when my guardian angel decides to fly away
so i gladly spend my days trying to find different ways
to discover where you start and where i end
where is the ground on which we stand
there is no beginning and hopefully no end
to my journey with this miracle that im blessed to call my friend
just dying and waking to you again
over and over and over

my favorite pastime that makes me heart leap
my unattainable goal that i always try to keep
is falling asleep to the sound of my pencil trying to trace the edges of your soul
the impossible task of trying to grasp your being whole
you put my fears to rest and my demons to sleep
when we're together my soul is complete
maybe im still dreaming
maybe seeing is believing
maybe time is fleeting
and now my doubts are fleeing but i fear you are leaving
so let's continue unceasing until we reach our destination
a safe haven where we can finally
be free of pain and sin and all the darkness i hold within
so i can die in your arms
just to awaken in them again

am i alive or am i dead?
does it really matter you said
either way we'll spend our forever together
to be together forever
whether we failed to pay or earned our way
through pearly gates to streets of gold is not my concern
only that you learn to grow old with one
who truly fights to save your soul
that's what i want you to know
never let that go

eyes fly open like i've gone away and come back
like my heartbeat is out of whack
because of this emptiness this feeling of lacking
that always attacks me when i look around and remember im alone
you're no longer within arms reach
my heart has lost the will to beat
stranded on this beach of despair
because you are no longer here
there's nothing in sight that can calm my fright
of succumbing to the reality that i'll never be alright
except for the piece of steel to my right
i just want to end this night and the pain that has arisen
from these dreams that have given me a false hope
i think im dying please pass me the rope
something anything to set me free
of this darkness growing inside of me
but then i remember all the things you said to me
not all angels fly
darkness doesn't always have to win
and i know that it's a sin to hold this steel
up against my chin
but all i want is the pain to end
all i want is to touch your skin
all i want is to die in your arms
and awaken in you again

Pledge

I don't write enough to be a writer.
I don't travel enough to be a traveler.
I don't dream enough to be a dreamer.
I don't love enough to be a lover.
I don't wander enough to be a wanderer.
I don't accomplish enough to be accomplished.
I don't do enough to make a difference.
I don't do enough to be much of anything.
I'm not anything.

But
I don't lose enough to be a loser.
I haven't failed enough to be a failure.

I can write more.
I can travel more, discover more, learn more, dream more, inspire more.
I can live more.
I can do more.
I can be more.
I can.
I am.